as an unreasonably kind person, john never had an inkling of desire to complain. he never thought there was a good reason to. but that didn't mean he never grieved, our doubted his faith. it didn't mean that there were never times he would question himself when he was alone. was he a good enough priest despite the way he looked? could he be taken seriously as an exorcist despite his foreign background? john was young but he wasn't inexperienced, and it hurt him more than he let on for people to discredit him for that.
but as a unreasonably kind person, he could see himself in other people's perspectives. he understood why people reacted the way they did. complaining wouldn't change their minds and it would only make his heart heavier. there was a lot about him that he liked and there was even more he liked about the people surrounding him. whatever insults he could think about would be easily outweighed by the praise he held for others. so as he watched ayako and bou-san bicker, mai and masako bicker as well as naru being his usual withdrawn self; all john could do was smile. how could he possibly point out the bad points in his life when their liveliness cheered him up so quickly?
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as an unreasonably kind person, john never had an inkling of desire to complain. he never thought there was a good reason to. but that didn't mean he never grieved, our doubted his faith. it didn't mean that there were never times he would question himself when he was alone. was he a good enough priest despite the way he looked? could he be taken seriously as an exorcist despite his foreign background? john was young but he wasn't inexperienced, and it hurt him more than he let on for people to discredit him for that.
but as a unreasonably kind person, he could see himself in other people's perspectives. he understood why people reacted the way they did. complaining wouldn't change their minds and it would only make his heart heavier. there was a lot about him that he liked and there was even more he liked about the people surrounding him. whatever insults he could think about would be easily outweighed by the praise he held for others. so as he watched ayako and bou-san bicker, mai and masako bicker as well as naru being his usual withdrawn self; all john could do was smile. how could he possibly point out the bad points in his life when their liveliness cheered him up so quickly?