Dating Profiles Meme

[stripping.livejournal.com]

1. Post as your character.
2. Other characters will reply with a "dating profile" they have written for your character, based on what they know of them.
3. Hideousness ensues.
4. ?????
5. PROFIT!

EXAMPLE:
Wesker posts to the meme thanks to the miracle of ~the community~. Issei writes: "Single slightly mutated man seeks fellow conspirator. Must be intelligent and willing to be stabbed in the back. Possibly repeatedly if the first time doesn't take." Wesker then makes some snarky comment, and so on.

Comments

[nosamak.livejournal.com]

I've been stuck with her for forever--it's all "Yoruichi-sama" and "work".

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

No, nonono, she doesn't need a boyfriend. Get all pretenses of men out of your mind! What we have here is a search for a girlfriend!

[nosamak.livejournal.com]

No--a boyfriend! They're a bunch of idiots but, eww, I don't want to set her up with a woman. [See that glowing fairy thing? She's doing a dance of anger, Kefka, swinging her stinger around in wild circles.]

[material_guy]

[halfthetrouble]

[ridingfree.livejournal.com]

[attorneyatlol]

[digitaldreads.livejournal.com]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Man seeks woman for sex, drinking, and sex. Must have no taste in men whatsoever.

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

Why not? Why have Soi Fon settle for an idiot? Find her a beautiful, strong woman with some common sense she can bop into her!

[material_guy]

Gay closet sex crazed monk seeks vagina-free nympho for sappy shit between refractory periods. Bonus points for proficiency in threesomes, foursomes, and Greed vocal imitations.

[material_guy]

Got a typo in there, Monk. Should be women.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Would you just - I'm not - I don't - shut up!!

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Ah, of course. How silly of me to make such a mistake.

[material_guy]

Must also understand gibberish and have a thing for the color red.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I don't blush that often...

[material_guy]

You spend more time blushing than her Firelordship or whatever does screaming.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

She's getting better about that.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Nobody matters in this, it's a definition>

[material_guy]

You spend more time blushing than that one guy with the cute girlfriend spends doing magic tricks.

[lone-defender.livejournal.com]

[sapphicthief.livejournal.com]

So she's a little challenging.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Why do you care how I define the people in my life?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

It's been a while since he's done any for the community.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

It makes it easier to refer to them if you use the real definitions.