Dating Profiles Meme

[stripping.livejournal.com]

1. Post as your character.
2. Other characters will reply with a "dating profile" they have written for your character, based on what they know of them.
3. Hideousness ensues.
4. ?????
5. PROFIT!

EXAMPLE:
Wesker posts to the meme thanks to the miracle of ~the community~. Issei writes: "Single slightly mutated man seeks fellow conspirator. Must be intelligent and willing to be stabbed in the back. Possibly repeatedly if the first time doesn't take." Wesker then makes some snarky comment, and so on.

Comments

[reversedpolarity]

Can't argue that.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

That's what we call also family.

It's doing a perfectly fine job with your brother in charge.

[daredtodo.livejournal.com]

It takes a bit more work than that, okay? If it were that easy, it wouldn't be fun.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

No. They're my real family.

It isn't. My ex-brother is ruining it.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Not according to the dictionary.

I don't see that.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Who cares what the dictionary says?

Then you're either biased or looking at it wrong.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Most of the world?

I think you're the biased one here.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Hardly. The dictionary doesn't get to define my feelings.

You're not even from my country.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

It doesn't. Family isn't always a feelings word.

Point.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

It is for me.

[reversedpolarity]

Young, devilishly handsome captain of the finest ship in Starfleet seeks companion interested in exploring the galaxy and just generally all-around kicking arse.

Better?

[goddamn-ironman.livejournal.com]

[oldlaws.livejournal.com]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

You don't define the word.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I define what it is for me.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

But that's meaningless to the rest of the world.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Not to my family.

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

I iron my clothes neatly enough that my shoulders are corners. If you enjoy that kind of precision in a man who can use his tongue well enough to discuss Shakespeare and murder in many different languages, apply now.

[getinmyway.livejournal.com]

Soifon
Vanille
Morrigan
Grace

2 sincere ones and a troll :|

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

Reeve: Look at your architect, then back at me. Then back at your architect, then back at me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he switched to saving the world in a sweet blue suit, he could pretend that he's me.

Look down, now back up. Where are you? You're on an airship with the architect your architect could be like. What's in my hand? Back up. It's the controls to that robot you love. Look again. The controls are now materia!

I'm on a moogle. [victory fanfare]

Al: Not only do I cook, clean, do well with children and animals and break the laws of physics, but you can hide inside me when you need a break from life!

Jecht: Do you enjoy brutish oafs who emotionally abuse their children and abandon their wives to go on homoerotic adventures with people he's never met? Does the idea of a boastful brainless bore who makes up moves turn you on? Look no further!

[getinmyway.livejournal.com]

Thief seeking someone to hold the ladder. Not willing to go the extra mile. Women need not apply.

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

Obnoxious goddess with a trolling streak looking for hapless mortal to toy with. Applicants must not mind being rickrolled.

[sandinmyboots.livejournal.com]

Fire Lord seeking another to rule kingdom over with. Must be skilled in combat, pleasant in disposition and loyal to a fault.

[dreamsonaplane.livejournal.com]

RUFUS SHINRA
KUCHIKI BYAKUYA
LARSA SOLIDOR
ROBERT FISCHER JR
JOAN HOLLOWAY
CROSS MARIAN
NOUGAMI NEURO
RAJESH KOOTHROPALI
ABEL NIGHTROAD

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

... Good.